Still...and a medicine returns.
Fever, body aches, complete fatigue. And this is Saturday. Fever started on Tuesday. Today, I started back on Lexapro (antidepressant). I was finding myself getting too mad at the kids too quickly. I was overreacting to everything. I was crying ALL. THE. TIME. I am not in a place to be off of that and I was wanting to inflict pain upon myself (like I needed punishment or something. ...
A few days ago, I was super exhausted and achy. I was asked if I was sore b/c of the way I was walking. I should have known right then. My eyes had been burning on the inside for a few hours. When I finally got home, I took my temp and there it was. A symptom I thought I had left in the dust a year ago when I started on the meds. And it is back. Even as I write, my body aches and my eyes...
The weight is over.
Outta here! No more! Never again! Over the past few weeks, I have measured my progress daily. I write down everything I eat, as well as my weight, my symptoms, supplements, etc… Most people can probably accomplish this and thrive. But not me. I have a REAL problem with my scale. I think about it when I wake up and weigh right away. I weigh a little later before getting in the...
I am thankful for food, glorious food! Just the way God gave it to us to enjoy. My family. Luck, the kids, my parents, and Michelle, Justin, and Gabi. They not only help take care of me and the kiddos, but they put up with eating with me. Can you IMAGINE having me as part of your dinner plans? I know, I REALLY throw a wrench in things. Friends. You all know the amazing things you do. You...
While speaking to a friend recently about what I am (not) eating, she gave me an incredible perspective. Every time I feel hunger or am sad about not being able to eat something, pray for the hungry people in the world. Do I REALLY have reason to be sad? Nope. I sure don’t. But I can pray for them and focus on what I can do to make a difference for in their lives. Thanks, Xochitl. ...
If you ask me how I feel, it will REALLY depend on the moment. I am having moments of feeling almost normal. They are few and far between, but they are there. And that gives me hope. Today, I am totally wiped out. Have felt feverish all afternoon and am having return of some symptoms. Still eating everything I am being told to (except dang watercress b/c I can’t find it!!!). I am...
The light is peaking through :)
The ugly depression is lifting! Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. It is no coincidence, friends! I have followed the diet to the best of my ability. I am surviving and enjoying the foods I eat. I am DEFINITELY still adjusting to life without salt!!! I used fresh tomatoes and garlic and onions and basil and made a marinara that is great!! If it only had a little salt! Oh...
nessavendetta asked: You are a truly remarkable person. Your words are inspiring. I feel like I'm worth nothing most days - with all that lupus does to me - but your honest just saved my day. Thank you for being you. I think God gave you those words to speak to many people.. and for what it's worth, They spoke to me. I'll be praying for constant healing.
I so want to come on here and report good news! I am an optimistic person! But this…this has broken me. Already in a flare, already vegan, now off all but one med (that last one will take weeks). Depression is in full force. I have not cried this much in years. I cry easily and often. I am so sad. And not one of those put on your big girl panties and deal with it kinds of sad,...
I don’t want to eat vegan. I don’t want to have to sit for hours figuring out what I can eat and what my family can eat that compliments that, while allowing for some meat and dairy for them. I don’t want to do this forever. I want to be in the sun….SO BADLY. I just look out the windows all day long and remember what it feels like to have sunshine hit my skin. I miss...
Jumping the gun. And week 3, down!
I am thinking of this whole process as a marathon. The gun was just fired. It seems I may have jumped the gun, though. I was so ready to see some changes and had heard about this diet and just jumped in. I prob should have come more slowly off my meds (my doc doesn’t have much experience in taking people OFF things! ). The reason I am feeling so horrible right now is prob because...
Getting real help. →
Here is a link to the RD who is helping me achieve my goals. It is a bit weird hiring someone for something I have studied my whole life! But she has successfully gotten off of her medications for Lupus. She told me today we are looking at 6 - 12 months of this before feeling better. And that it took her a little LONGER than that. But she did it.
Back to my roots, Gumbo style!
If you asked me to summarize childhood in one bite, I think my mom’s gumbo would probably be that bite. We did not have it weekly or monthly, but we had it often. And hers is the best gumbo I have ever had. Sometimes we would have it because company was coming in town, sometimes because our dear friends Buck and Alma brought us fresh shrimp from the gulf, but mostly, we had it because it...
Reality is: I am definitely getting worse. I was hardly out of bed yesterday. Today has not started any better. I just feel awful. Symptoms are the same. Stupid sores in my nose. They look like little carved out caves. And they hurt like mad. Zero energy. As in the kind that you just can’t push through. Headaches. And on and on. I will just sleep the day away and get ready for...